UberMan5000's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

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The StrawberryClock 2

2009-08-15 10:50:28

StrawberryClock Would Have Been a Kickass Mork

Nanoo Nanoo!

Crispy Beef

2009-08-15 01:27:45

THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH FIVES IN THE WORLD

YOU'VE SET BACK CRITICAL ACCOLADES FIVE CENTURIES WITH THIS CONCENTRATED AWESOME AND WE'LL NEVER BE THE SAME.

TelephoneBoothClockEngage

2009-08-15 01:23:55

Bob Ross' Afro for President

TelephoneBoothClock for Secretary of State.

Topcatyo responds:

Topcatyo for JFK.
Happy Clockday!

Your Hands Are Cold

2009-08-15 01:07:16

OMIGAW

Wicked awesome. I'm in awe.

ClockRadio responds:

Thanks snake {{{}}}

Laugh With Me

2009-04-17 22:37:46

Good Lord!

I'll never be able to listen to the Tin Man sing again without picturing scenes of such true, abstract horror. :O

: It's A Bald World... :

2009-03-25 21:55:20

Polarizing Nonsense

You all either vote ten on it because your preteen angst results in a knee-jerk delusion to think this movie is genius because it has a character bellyaching about things you'd like to bellyache about but don't have the audience or arrogance to do so, or you vote zero on it because it's seen as a monotonous drone repeated ad-nauseum for the benefit of the aforementioned alienated-youth sheep that think it's perfect because they love anything that hates everything. I fear the creator has either made like he has an obligation to appeal to this rabbling mass, or he understands that no effort is expected of him, just make Foamy say mean things.

This series experienced a recent crisis when last week's episode tried to be "different", and his identity-less viewers balked at the idea of change. Fortunately, it's back to the old grind now, with if not jokes, at least remarks about bald stereotypes and sexual humiliation. For eight years, these movies have been all the same, a note held indefinitely in a song that was loud and frustrated, and caused a great scream from the rabble. The song was alright at the beginning and we emphasized, but many of us are getting bored of that note, and wish that the guy would get onto the next verse. It's called insightful and expressive, but it's just shouting. You all see this as a voice for counterculture, mocking the preppies and bolstering your hip rage and contempt, but when you see a disclaimer asking you to not be offended, you should see that illwillpress has abandoned that ideal to get preppies to buy t-shirts.

Decent creative work needs content, not just attitude. Well-made movies deserving of high praise like Brackenwood and Ola Bergner are forced to share the limelight with this exhaustive, minimalist fluff, it makes me shudder for the creative direction of Newgrounds. I don't object to limited animation, but i object fiercely to limited idea. Invader Zim was a cartoon with similarly misanthropic subject matter, but it at least had a clever, expansive idea that it could build off of and play with; this is one character doing one thing that can't be built on. You people praise these movies for their spontaneity and quick wit, but you can train anyone to do anything by impulse if he does it exactly the same way for nearly a decade. Look up Ivan Pavlov if you don't believe me.

I'm not sure if Germaine is just an incompetent feminist, or Mathers doesn't want to drive away his cynical, misanthropic youth audience by making her emerge as a genuinely opinionated character, so he thinks that making her breasts larger makes her "fat", therefore feminist, and her talking casually about getting pubic hair in her teeth is just part of a normal Gothic chick's vocabulary. Everyone seems so relieved that IWP refused to strike it in a bold new direction and is the same palbum we're accustomed to.

What else is funny is if I were to make a movie like this, with an angry character of some fantastic feature (ie making him an alien or an animal), a small supporting cast to egg him on, and if I put some kind of twist on it like, say, they all live on the moon or one of them is an assassin for hire, something that can actually formulate some interesting drama to voice my beliefs in a way that would stand out, you'd all say I'm ripping off Foamy, poorly at that. illwillpress has so successfully hijacked your tastes that he could make a movie where Foamy waves his testicles in your face for ten minutes and it would still seem brilliant.

But I'm an optimist. Though these movies will continue to garner blind praise from people with a shallow contempt for the norm, I like to think doing this for so long is rotting Jonathan Ian Mathers from the inside. He once had a good idea that consumed him. Eventually, he might try for ambition and really see the joy of exerting himself (more than this), if he's not a pandering shill just out to stuff shelves at Hot Topic.

As for this movie, read what I wrote. It's a review of Neuroticaly Yours as a whole, I hope you at least dignify my efforts by thinking about it.

: A Change Of Face :

2009-03-12 19:40:05

Polarizing Nonsense

You all either vote ten on it because your preteen angst results in a knee-jerk delusion to think this movie is genius because it has a character bellyaching about things you'd like to bellyache about but don't have the audience or arrogance to do so, or you vote zero on it because it's seen as a monotonous drone repeated ad-nauseum for the benefit of the aforementioned alienated-youth sheep that think it's perfect because they love anything that hates everything. I fear the creator has either made like he has an obligation to appeal to this rabbling mass, or he understands that no effort is expected of him, just make Foamy say mean things.

I appreciate the author at least saying that he'd like to change up the most visibly detailed character in this series, but not really doing anything out of the ordinary to her, and saying it's "only temporary" doesn't cut the mustard. She's always gone on far too long about her frustration with her body image and fashion sense, so I don't see how he's not already getting "bored" with her. For eight years, these movies have been all the same, a note held indefinitely in a song that was loud and frustrated, and caused a great scream from the rabble. The song was alright at the beginning and we emphasized, but many of us are getting bored of that note, and wish that the guy would get onto the next verse. It's called insightful and expressive, but it's just shouting. You all see this as a voice for counterculture, mocking the preppies and bolstering your hip rage and contempt, but when you see a disclaimer asking you to not be offended, you should see that illwillpress has abandoned that ideal to get preppies to buy t-shirts.

Decent creative work needs content, not just attitude. Well-made movies deserving of high praise like Brackenwood and Ola Bergner are forced to share the limelight with this exhaustive, minimalist fluff, it makes me shudder for the creative direction of Newgrounds. I don't object to limited animation, but i object fiercely to limited idea. Invader Zim was a cartoon with similarly misanthropic subject matter, but it at least had a clever, expansive idea that it could build off of and play with; this is one character doing one thing that can't be built on. You people praise these movies for their spontaneity and quick wit, but you can train anyone to do anything by impulse if he does it exactly the same way for nearly a decade. Look up Ivan Pavlov if you don't believe me.

Shaving her head doesn't make Germaine a different character, and I'm more frustrated with her lack of characterization that Mathers is. She says she did it to "defy feminism", but either the complete failure at that is part of a cruel joke on Germaine, or Mathers is really oblivious. Shaving her head makes her look even MORE like a "Goth fetish chick", and I think her breasts got larger again.

What else is funny is if I were to make a movie like this, with an angry character of some fantastic feature (ie making him an alien or an animal), a small supporting cast to egg him on, and if I put some kind of twist on it like, say, they all live on the moon or one of them is an assassin for hire, something that can actually formulate some interesting drama to voice my beliefs in a way that would stand out, you'd all say I'm ripping off Foamy, poorly at that. illwillpress has so successfully hijacked your tastes that he could make a movie where Foamy waves his testicles in your face for ten minutes and it would still seem brilliant.

But I'm an optimist. Though these movies will continue to garner blind praise from people with a shallow contempt for the norm, I like to think doing this for so long is rotting Jonathan Ian Mathers from the inside. He once had a good idea that consumed him. Eventually, he might try for ambition and really see the joy of exerting himself (more than this), if he's not a pandering shill just out to stuff shelves at Hot Topic.

As for this movie, read what I wrote. It's a review of Neuroticaly Yours as a whole, I hope you at least dignify my efforts by thinking about it.

NF133 Episode 3