UberMan5000's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[animation excercises]

From One Animation Student to Another

I remember doing a lot of those exercises when I was in animation school a few years ago, like the ball bounce (rubber and bowling), the jump, the box fold, and so on. Unfortunately, most of them sucked a lot since I had little to no inherent drawing skills going in (which you no doubt had) and I had to learn them. I probably wouldn't feel good about putting them on Newgrounds, though this reminds me that I should get back into paper animation; that's how it's done on the streets!

[: People Pissing Me Off :]

Polarizing Nonsense

You all either vote ten on it because your preteen angst results in a knee-jerk delusion to think this movie is genius because it has a character bellyaching about things you'd like to bellyache about but don't have the audience or arrogance to do so, or you vote zero on it because it's seen as a monotonous drone repeated ad-nauseum for the benefit of the aforementioned bleating mascara-drenched sheep that think it's perfect because they love anything that hates everything. I fear the creator has either made like he has an obligation to appeal to this rabbling mass, or he understands that no effort is expected of him, just make Foamy say mean things.

Another return of Foamy's spastic rants, Jonathan Ian Mathers calls upon his reliable Mary Sue to spout his uninformed, curse-riddled misanthropy. If he stood in the middle of road and carried on about killing babies, he'd be committed, but since now he's a squirrel on the web, he's cheered for infanticide fantasies that don't express anything, because it's Foamy. For eight years, these movies have been all the same, a note held indefinitely in a song that was loud and rebellious, and caused a great scream from the rabble. The song was alright at the beginning, but many of us are getting bored of that note, and wish that the guy would get onto the next verse. It's called insightful and expressive, but it's simply pointing and laughing. You all see him as a voice for counterculture, mocking the preppies and bolstering your hip rage and contempt, but when you see a disclaimer asking you to not be offended, you should see that illwillpress has abandoned that ideal to get those preppies to buy t-shirts.

Decent creative work needs content, not just attitude. Well-made movies deserving of high praise like Brackenwood and Ola Bergner are forced to share the limelight with this exhaustive, minimalist fluff, it makes me shudder for the creative direction of Newgrounds. I don't object to limited animation, but i object fiercely to limited idea. Invader Zim was a cartoon with similarly misanthropic subject matter, but it at least had a clever, expansive idea that it could build off of and play with; this is one character doing one thing that can't be built on. You people praise these movies for their spontaneity and quick wit, but you can train anyone to do anything by impulse if he does it exactly the same way for nearly a decade. Look up Ivan Pavlov if you don't believe me.

Calling various things in society and media "bullshit" is not sharp improv; its simple-minded rage. Any one of you talks like this in your head in your daily life, and you think that if it comes out of your mouth, suddenly you're an artist? Putting some kind of imaginative spin on it is where true creativity lies; illwillpress has skipped that step for a quick Daily First.

What else is funny is if I were to make a movie like this, with an angry character of some fantastic feature (ie making him an alien or an animal), a small supporting cast to egg him on, and if I put some kind of twist on it like, say, they all live on the moon or one of them is an assassin for hire, something that can actually formulate some interesting drama to voice my beliefs in a way that would stand out, you'd all say I'm ripping off Foamy, poorly at that. illwillpress has so successfully hijacked your tastes that he could make a movie where Foamy waves his testicles in your face for ten minutes and it would still seem brilliant because it had that preloader on it.

But I'm an optimist. Though these movies will continue to garner blind praise from people with a shallow contempt for the norm, I like to think doing this for so long is rotting Jonathan Ian Mathers from the inside. He once had a good idea that consumed him. Eventually, he might try for ambition and really see the joy of exerting himself (more so than just making semen jokes), if he's not a pandering shill just out to stuff shelves at Hot Topic.

As for this movie, read what I wrote. It's a review of NY as a whole, I hope you at least dignify my efforts by thinking abou

[: Indie Film :]

Polarizing Nonsense

You all either vote ten on it because your preteen angst results in a knee-jerk delusion to think this movie is genius because it has a character bellyaching about things you'd like to bellyache about but don't have the audience or arrogance to do so, or you vote zero on it because it's seen as a monotonous drone repeated ad-nauseum for the benefit of the aforementioned bleating mascara-drenched sheep that think it's perfect because they love anything that hates everything. I fear the creator has either made like he has an obligation to appeal to this rabbling mass, or he understands that no effort is expected of him, just make Foamy say mean things.

If you went on in a whiny mocking voice to imitate people that you find idiotic, that would be banal and immature. When Foamy does it, it's fantastic and clever. I'm not sure what the difference between you doing it and a drawn squirrel doing it besides him being a squirrel. I think it's because this movie is seen through rose-tinted glasses; for eight years, these movies have been all the same, a note held indefinitely in a song that was loud and rebellious, and caused a great scream from the rabble. The song was alright at the beginning, but many of us are getting bored of that note, and wish that the guy would get onto the next verse. It's called insightful and expressive, but it's simply pointing and laughing. You all see him as a voice for counterculture, mocking the preppies and bolstering your hip rage and contempt, but when you see a disclaimer asking you to not be offended, you should see that illwillpress has abandoned that ideal to get those preppies to buy t-shirts.

Decent creative work needs content, not just attitude. Well-made movies deserving of high praise like Brackenwood and Ola Bergner are forced to share the limelight with this exhaustive, minimalist fluff, it makes me shudder for the creative direction of Newgrounds. I don't object to limited animation, but i object fiercely to limited idea. Invader Zim was a cartoon with similarly misanthropic subject matter, but it at least had a clever, expansive idea that it could build off of and play with; this is one character doing one thing that can't be built on. You people praise these movies for their spontaneity and quick wit, but you can train anyone to do anything by impulse if he does it exactly the same way for nearly a decade. Look up Ivan Pavlov if you don't believe me.

Calling various things in society and media "bullshit" is not sharp improv; its simple-minded rage. Any one of you talks like this in your head in your daily life, and you think that if it comes out of your mouth, suddenly you're an artist? Putting some kind of imaginative spin on it is where true creativity lies; illwillpress has skipped that step for a quick Daily First.

What else is funny is if I were to make a movie like this, with an angry character of some fantastic feature (ie making him an alien or an animal), a small supporting cast to egg him on, and if I put some kind of twist on it like, say, they all live on the moon or one of them is an assassin for hire, something that can actually formulate some interesting drama to voice my beliefs in a way that would stand out, you'd all say I'm ripping off Foamy, poorly at that. illwillpress has so successfully hijacked your tastes that he could make a movie where Foamy waves his testicles in your face for ten minutes and it would still seem brilliant because it had that preloader on it.

But I'm an optimist. Though these movies will continue to garner blind praise from people with a shallow contempt for the norm, I like to think doing this for so long is rotting Jonathan Ian Mathers from the inside. He once had a good idea that consumed him. Eventually, he might try for ambition and really see the joy of exerting himself (more so than just making semen jokes), if he's not a pandering shill just out to stuff shelves at Hot Topic.

As for this movie, read what I wrote. It's a review of NY as a whole, I hope you at least dignify my efforts by thinking about it.

[Alex Seryoua: Episode I]

Someone Get This Bastard a Steady-Cam

First off, my God that was shaking. The way the camera arbitrarily jerked around, it made the Bourne Ultimatum seem practically motionless. The animation was also pretty jerky and relied too heavily on tweens, so it felt frightfully unnatural.

The story also seems kind of thin. She's arbitrarily abducted by aliens, is given superpowers, escapes and wreaks havoc on those who gave her powers. She picks them up awfully quickly as well, and doesn't seem especially surprised by any of it. Dialogue in the later scenes would have helped.

But I suppose I shouldn't be too demanding of just the first episode. Much is set up; other people have fallen under the same fate but didn't fight back, and she's on the moon. How and why? These answers might be pretty interesting.

danomano65 responds:

The story is thin because so far it's only 3 and a half minutes long. Obviously. But thanks for the review. I hope you stick around for some interesting answers.

[Metroid Prime Hunters]

Sweet Movie. One of the Best I've Seen

Egoraptor and Rina-Chan were brilliant as Ridley and Samus. That sex scene they did at the end really touched a special place in my heart.

Give my best to Dan Paladin; you really knocked us dead with this masterpiece.

[berimbau`s misssssssion]

YAY

It's delightful, delicious, and deciduous! What?

kodiakclock responds:

yea it was

[Leekx Tatwoo Adventure]

A REAL ONE

A REAL ONE!

kodiakclock responds:

A REAL ONE

[Race Across The Rainbow]

Charmingly Odd

What a movie! It was so imaginative and such an inventive little tale. The characters that they meet on their jog across the rainbow all brought a smile to my face, from nostalgia like Snoopy to wide-eyed wonder like those red things they ride. And the animation style was so fast and dynamic, even though the line weights liked to change for no reason. I can forgive it, though.

The whole movie felt really glad, through and through. A boisterous remix of a sweet Gorillaz tune (I love Gorillaz, by the way) helped carry the energy all the way through to the end, when the loser of the race sees that the consolation prize of staying at the rainbow might just have been better...

An excellent effort.

[Madness Neurosis Collab 3]

I Will Make a Movie

I am a 12 year old boy that has discovered Newgrounds. I want people to love me, so I will make a movie. I do not know that much about Flash and am not very creative, so it will have violence and characters someone else made. After doing 20 minutes worth of effort in a few months, I release it to Newgrounds. The average Newgrounder is a tiresomely predictable and extremely banal creature, so because the movie has killings and someone else's popular character, they will delude themselves into reviewing 10, calling it amazing, and loving me. The Newgrounds administration, who notice its blind popularity, will have a knee-jerk reaction to frontpage my movie, thus swelling my prepubescent e-penis to astronomical size. My movie is popular despite its shoddy production, childish obsession with murder, and total disdain for originality. Newgrounds loves me.us They will give me money, booze and chicks.

Unfortunately, this movie will attract criticism from more intellectual Newgrounds visitors that recognize my movie as half-baked preteen angst, and will scold it for its wildly undeserved fame which overshadows other Newgrounds submissions that were given serious, honest time and thought, and tried to be imaginative. These people are just big old doodie heads that are dumb and stinky. I will say "fuck" to them several times and make vague death threats against them and everyone they love. My e-penis will thus expand further, and more booze and chicks will head my way.

Yes, that is what I shall do.

LittleLuckyLink responds:

Abusive.
Not only does this barely even talk about the movie, But this also breaks a few rules on the review guidlines.

[if cut he'll never paint]

My God, It's Beautiful

So, so incredible.